It was the late summer of 1983 in Riverview, New Brunswick. I was 13 years old.
I remember one day in particular: I was out on the road kicking a soccer ball back and forth with my friend Geoff. We've lost touch over the years. But, for many years, we were best friends.
My parents were out in the front yard with friends, just sitting in the sun and having a good time. My parent's friends had a dog, and like many dogs do, he was running around playing with us kids.
As we played soccer, the dog chased the ball. One time, when I kicked the ball, the dog ran under my leg, not letting me put it back on the ground. I lost my balance and fell backwards.
Crack!
My head hit the asphalt road. It sounded to me like you see in those cartoons, when someone smashes two cymbals against your head. Well, the ringing sound went away for a while, but latter, when I had my seizures, the sound returned; and to this day I still have a constant ringing in my ears (similar to a condition called tinnitus).
Well, the doctors never said that this event was the cause; but soon after,I was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor (Acute Astrocytoma of the Cerebellum).
Shortly after that incident, I noticed that I could not hear from my right ear. My parent brought me to our family doctor, and soon after, I was referred to doctor Pal in Moncton, New Brunswick. He was an ear, nose, and throat specialist if I remember correctly.
To this day, I still am mostly deaf in my right ear. But, I still hear that damned ringing!
I went through many tests until I was officially diagnosed by doctor Pal in Moncton on October 2nd, 1983.
Doctor Pal may have made the diagnosis, but I have a very clear memory of doctor Quartey telling me and my parents in a darkened room on the 6th floor in the old wing of the Moncton Hospital. Maybe that's just the way I remember it though. After all, I was only 13.
At the time, it seemed like the next few months went by in slow motion for me. But, when I look at the actual dates, I realize how quickly it all happened.
I underwent a total of 3 surgeries to remove the tumor.
The first, where most of the tumor was removed, took place on October 14th, 1983. It was performed by three neuro-surgeons: doctor Quartey, doctor Gorman and doctor Ogundimoo. If I remember correctly, there were several other doctors involved as well.
There was a second follow-up operation on October 29th, 1983 performed by doctor Gorman. And the third and final surgery on November 8th, 1983.
All 3 surgeries were performed at the Moncton Hospital in Moncton, New Brunswick
Unfortunately, the surgeries were just the beginning. Shortly after; on November 23rd, 1983, I was admitted to the hospital in Saint John, New Brunswick, where I underwent 25 Cobalt radiation treatments for the part of the tumor that could not be removed because it was enveloping my brain stem.
After lots of worrying, on my part and for those who love me, it was over. But I survived.
To this day, I feel that I am living proof that the word "cancer" is not necessarily a death sentence as it once used to be.
In retrospect, the situation was probably hardest on my family. After all, I was a thirteen-year-old boy; and just starting junior high school; in 1983, Riverview Junior High School started at grade 7 and went to grade 9. I really didn't understand what was happening. Actually, it's kind of odd: I was not all that scared until after I had my first of three surgeries; in which the majority of the tumor was removed. Anyway, we were lucky. We had many relatives and close friends that gave great support throughout the whole experience.
But unfortunately, the story doesn't end there.
Years went by. I continued my education and graduated from high school. From there I went to the New Brunswick Community College and graduated with a diploma in Business Technology with an option in Marketing. Like most kids, I made some good choices and some bad. But, most important (to me anyway), I made some really good friends.
Life went on. I had a successful career in retail with Costco in Moncton. I made many more friends, and a few enemies... But, life was pretty much normal for me.
Then one day, my buddy Brian, who has since moved away, introduced me to one of his friends. Well, little did I know then; but it turned out that I had found love. Linda and I ended up getting married.
A few years later, I decided that it was in my best interest to go back to school. I enrolled at CompuCollege in Moncton, now called Eastern College, for their ISS+ program (computer and network technician) and resigned from my 12 year career at Costco.
A good thing right? Well, I'm not so sure...
Not even a week after leaving Costco, I was stricken with massive migraine headaches and loss of vision. I was completely out of commission for about 2 weeks. Then, things cleared up and went away. That was in June of 2007... ish.
With my history; I was very worried at first. But when the symptoms cleared up and went away, I shrugged it off and started concentrating on my new adventure in education.
Returning to college was something I had never really thought about. It was a decision I was forced to make, due to extreme arthritis, muscle, joint and back pain caused by years of self inflicted abuse to my body from working in warehouses and retail.
But, going back to school was a great experience. I was able to study something that I loved, working with computers and networking. I made some new friends and had a lot of fun while I was back in school. And, above all, I made myself and my family very proud. I graduated at the top of my class with an average of 95% and I received an award from the school for excellence in IT.
After graduating in the spring of 2009, I found myself a job working at Co-Op Atlantic; working with their retail technology team.
Then, all hell broke loose...
I was about 6 weeks into my new career when I had to leave work early one day due to a massive migraine headache. I was terrified. I knew this was the same kind of headache that put me out of commission for a couple weeks just before I started school. But this time, it didn't go away. And whats worse, the accompanied vision loss came with memory blocks, issues in focusing my thoughts, and more.
After several weeks of patiently waiting for me, the Co-op let me go from my new career. Understandable, since I'd only been there a little more than a month.
It took several more weeks, months even, for the nuero-surgeons, psychologists and other doctors to figure it out. During this time, I was admitted to the hospital with massive and ongoing migraines and vision loss; not to mention the memory blocks and other “stuff”. The doctors finally determined that all of the issues I was experiencing were related to delayed side effects of the Cobalt radiation treatments I received in 1984.
Now, on the one hand I was relieved and grateful that all of this was not the return of my cancer/tumor. But, on the other, it's still a pretty serious issue and I needed to get it under control.
It took a few more months, but eventually I got back on my feet. My memory started to get better; although still not good. My attention to detail and mental focus were still a problem. But I tried desperately to hide that fact from the world; including the people I love.
After trying to work at 3 different jobs, I finally admitted to myself that things just weren't improving enough for me to hold a job. I was having extreme difficulty learning new things. And even more difficulty retaining that knowledge. My memory, both short term and long term; while my memories are intact, are very difficult to access at times. I was taking medication to help control the headaches. And although it didn't eliminated them, it helped tremendously and cut down the frequency, duration, and severity of them.
Almost 2 years after I was forced to leave my job at the Co-op, things hadn't improved much. Accessing memories was still very challenging at times. Sometimes I remembered; other times I didn't. When I didn't; sometimes I was able to access those memories in seconds or minutes: But, more often then not it took hours or even days to recall the things I knew and had learned over the years.
It was very frustrating and kept me on the edge of depression all the time.
It is possible that these symptoms may clear up. However, it is not likely and there is very little documentation in the medical world of others who have experienced and overcome similar issues.
I've taken up photography. Well, not really taken it up. I've been doing it for years. But now, I find it is something that I can do in my own time, at my own pace, without worrying about getting fired. And I really enjoy it too. If you'd like, you can check out my photography blog.
In February of 2011, I was stricken again with the massive migraines, extreme fatigue, memory issues (both short term and long term), and loss of vision (blurriness and loss of peripheral vision on the right (from both eyes)). I've also noticed difficulties with my attention to detail and mental focus among other things. But this time around, I fell victim to at least 12 seizures as well.
The issue with my vision was determined by the doctors to be an issue with the communication between my brain and my eyes; rather than my eyes themselves..
The symptoms were diagnosed again as probable side effects caused by the radiation treatments I received in 1984 and, as of September 2nd, 2014, I am still recovering my stamina, memory, balance and vision among other things. It's a very slow recovery; and I may never fully recover, but it gives me something to hope for.
I am noticing improvement slowly but surely. My vision and ability to type/use my computer is improving all the time as well. And, my stamina, coordination, balance, ability to think and reason, and other things are improving. Very slowly, but improving none-the-less. I've started doing photography again, although, until my eyes are truly back to the way they were... It's more then challenging.
In November(ish) of 2011; I experienced a setback that caused my memory, my vision, and my stamina to revert to an earlier stage. However, It appears that I am on the mend again.
I seem to have one of these "setbacks" every six months or so. But I am getting accustomed to it.
Luckily, my family and wife; not to mention my friends, are very supportive.
It is unfortunate, but not all cancer patients have family members or friends to rely on for support and strength in tough situations.
If you are asking yourself who is a cancer survivor, the following are criteria that I believe define survivors quite well.
A survivor is:
- Anyone who is living with cancer,
- Anyone who has experienced the disease
- Anyone who is living with the loss of a loved one because of cancer.
So, if you or someone you know needs to talk to someone, feel free to email me: marklipton06@gmail.com.
If I were to say something to others that are living with the disease it would be this:
Try to maintain a positive attitude toward the situation at hand. There are always black clouds that need to be dealt with, but I am one who believes that just like the old saying: Every cloud has a silver lining.
Support other members of your family. Remember that a group of people can be so much stronger than one individual. Share your feelings and your love with each other.
Read about the type of cancer involved. Talk to your doctor about it. Education and understanding can go a long way in reducing the fear that can be involved. It can bring hope too.
Prepare for the worst, but don't expect it. Be aware of what your options are and what the consequences of those options are. That way there can be few surprises.
If you have faith, pray.
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| By Mark Lipton, April 2nd, 2012 |
